cherish.

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile, life has been so busy and active, which is good. It's the end of the semester and I have 2 exams and a presentation left to do before the road trip of a life time with my best friends. I've been super busy and I really have learned to love the quiet time at home. Last night, because quest is stupid, our TV service was turned off and so I did some of the puzzle we have going with Alli, although she just matches the colors together, and we had a great time. I still have so much to do but it was nice to slow down for a few hours and just be present with those I love. We drank hot chocolate and enjoyed the time together. That's what life is all about. It doesn't matter what you are doing as long as you can remember that you love the person you are with. cherish your friends and family. It's been quite the year, looking forward to what is to come. 

4-20

What a weird day. first of all it's columbine, which really gets me. I can remember where I was and everything that happened that day. Secondly, it's my dad's birthday. I don't really talk about him much. Third, It's Hilter's birthday. whatever, not really important. Forth, Its the day that my mom went up to adams county to pick up Alli four years ago...and the rest is history. 

I remember being at Azusa when my mom called me to tell the she had gotten Alli and they didn't know if she could see or hear. My mom spent all night with her. Life is so interesting. 

Let's all remember to love. It's not as difficult as you may think. goodnight

emotions

lately I'm having several emotions all at the same time and it's driving me crazy. figuratively. It's been difficult to choose which emotions are the best to play on at the moment. It's super hard to know if and how others are going to respond to the feelings that I express. I am finding some people in my life are so much stronger than I thought they were and that makes me so happy. It also allows me to lean on them a bit more. Then there are others who are weaker than I thought and have little insight to how their actions effect others. I'm not blaming these people, but I honestly want to know why they cannot understand that we all have responsibilities and that each of us prioritize things differently. 

Thank you to everyone in my life. I have learned something from each of you. I know this life is about learning and discovering new things each and everyday. 

sleeping in.

Ok so last night I totally stayed up way too late just thinking about life and certain events that have brought me to this point. Too many emotions to talk about on here, but anyways, with that came me sleeping in until 1 pm today. I have not slept in that much since high school. it felt good. I didn't get much done today and I think that was a good thing. It was good to just slow down and just be. 

I think too often I'm afraid to feel that emotion that I just go through life without actually feeling anything. I'm working on that. I want to feel all of the emotions, emotions mean we are alive. I think I get more afraid of feeling anything when I have to actually express that feeling and almost defend it. and I know that is just an excuse that I have made up myself and those who I do talk to accept me just the way I am. it's something to work on. 

night. 

Water.

I have recently found a few ways to drink more water. 1. I am sick so I'm trying to flush some of the toxins out, which I should do all the time, but I have been able to drink tons and tons of water. 2. I have found flavorful ways to make water tasty sin calories. Like tea, my newest favorite is tangerine orange zinger by celestial seasonings, I also love love the sugarplum spice, it's one of the holiday blends. It's so good, full of cinnamon and some fruityness. YUM. 3. when I workout I go through one water bottle and before I leave the gym, I make sure to fill it up again. 

water is so vital for so many things, so let's drink up. I think that the more water I drink, the less food I eat. So that is so good too. 

I've been taking it easy the last few days because of this cold I have and I'm so bummed because I know that I am going to have to work so hard to get my endurance back again. It makes me so mad because I worked so hard to get it that far. 

Happy weekend! 

sick.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I think I've had the same cold for 2 weeks now. It would get better for few days and then worse. argh. I have lots to do and little motivation or energy to do it. 

I've been trying to eat well and still workout because it's just in my head, not my chest, although tonight I began to lose my voice, that's always fun. NOT! I'm drinking tons of water, which makes me pee tons. oh well, I'm done complaining. 

I'm excited to see food revolution tomorrow. Now I have 2 nights of exciting, healthy reality TV. don't get me wrong, I love grey's, private practice, etc, but I can't watch them with Alli around so they are TIVO'ed and I watch them when I have time. I really am inspired by Jamie Oliver and his drive to help schools in America. I know it's difficult to change but he seems to be doing a pretty good job so far. Check it out! Jamie Oliver's food revolution on ABC. 

I'm ready for spring. I do love snow like today. It snows like 2-3 inches and it's all melted off the streets by the time I leave the house. I could do without the wind. 

I'm back from my mcnugget attack and doing well. I'm trying to figure out the great debate in my head. I've heard from a few sources that weight loss is easier when we don't eat carbs with dinner or after. I can understand that but I also know that the brain can only function on carbs. I'd love some input on this. I understand that the liver can use the glycogen stores but I feel like I'm already borderline hypoglycemic in the morning so I don't think I will try it. I also do most of my school work in the evening/night time so I need some carbs to get through that. and by carbs I mean rice, bread, fruit and that stuff, not veggies.